The Green Burial ALLIANCE

Your Funeral: Your Choice…or maybe not…..

Increasingly, funeral and burial trends are becoming more varied:

traditional services and cemeteries, cremation scatterings, earth friendly green burials, ocean reef balls or combinations of one or more options are things that are often left undecided in one’s life.

It is human nature to not to want to think or plan for our own departure from this earth. What you may not realize is that in the event of your sudden death, your wishes may not be met…

Imagine this scenario: You have been living with your sweetheart for over 20 years, and neither of you have felt the need to be married; you share ownership of your home, have children together, and all is well…who needs a “piece” of paper to be happy?

“Jack” sits in recliner to watch TV one evening and never wakes up. “Jill” says that Jack always wanted to be buried in the woods, as he was an avid hunter. Jack wanted a simple ceremony with little fanfare: a pine box, no embalming. Basically, a natural burial. Jill contacts a local green burial preserve and proceeds to begin making arrangements to fulfill Jack’s wishes. Except that Jack’s Mother wants a big religious ceremony in her hometown church and at the local funeral home. Grief, shock and emotions take over. And “that’s when the fight started..” Mother invokes her power in the situation-- makes and implements the arrangements, contrary to what Jack and Jill both want. Jill has no legal ground to stand on, as “Common Law” marriages are not recognized in all states; therefore your “spouse” of 20 years may end up having little to say when the time comes, leaving your next of kin in charge of your final burial procedures--and however way they deem best. People who have never wanted to be cremated have been as a result of family members who did not have the available funds or time allotments to insure that the deceased’s final wishes were met.

Lets face it: Most often, death happens at very inopportune moments. Distraught people often are put in the unenviable positions of having to make major funeral decisions in a short period of time. While you may have envisioned a lovely service at a green burial preserve, surrounded by loved ones, birds chirping and gentle breezes, your well meaning relatives were just getting ready to leave for that much needed cruise to the Bahamas…..cremation is the faster, easier way, and what’s the difference? Sound far-fetched? Each one of these situations has actually happened! Lack of planning leaves the choice of your eternal resting place in someone else’s hands.

If you have strong feelings--as to embalming, cemetery locations, type of service, viewings, burial containers and more, it is imperativethat you put these wishes in writing, and left with someone who you trust that will honor your wishes. This document supersedes your last will and testament. It is also in your best interest to preplan your funeral and final destination wishes with a bona fide agreement with a reputable cemetery and funeral home as to what type of services you desire, and where exactly you will be buried, if that is the method you choose. Without these simple advance directives, it is possible for the interference of “well meaning” relatives who may want what is simply most convenient at the time of your unfortunate demise to dictate your final resting place…forever.

Take control of your own destiny and give your loved ones the freedom from the gift of being able to know that your wishes are being met. Preplanning your funeral and burial will provide just that.

By Cheri Decker